10 Ways to Keep Your Vagina Clean & Healthy

All women should be concerned about their vaginal health. A healthy vagina is naturally acidic and contains rich quantities of beneficial bacteria that help fend off infections and maintain a normal pH level. A healthy vagina will also secrete small amounts of discharge to keep itself clean, much as saliva is produced to help cleanse your mouth. Any interference with these normal conditions, and you may face vaginal irritation or infection. Here’s how to keep your vagina healthy. 1. Use Condom. You know that rubbers are great at protecting against STDs and pregnancy, but a study  suggests that using condoms helps keep your vagina’s pH level at the status quo so good bacteria, like lactobacilli, can survive in there. And this is super important since those little bacteria help prevent yeast infections, UTIs, and bacterial vaginosis. Just in case you needed another reason to wrap things up. 2. Wear Cotton Underwear. When it comes to your underwear selection, your vagina has a preference: cotton. That’s why most underwear comes with a thin strip of cotton fabric in the crotch. 3. Work It Out. Doing kegels is crucial for strengthening your pelvic floor muscles, which are key in producing stronger, mind-blowing orgasms—not to mention bladder control. Note to self: Include kegels in every workout. 4. Take Yogurt. Snacking on yogurt with live cultures helps boost the good bacteria in your hoo-ha, which, as you know, is all around fantastic for preventing annoying vaginal problems like yeast infections. Just be careful that you’re not noshing on the super-sugary kind, because that could make you more susceptible to those infections. 5. Use Lubricant. Sometimes when you’re about to hit the sheets, it seems like your vagina just didn’t get the memo. But it’s totally normal—vaginal dryness can impact you if you take certain medications like antihistamines, antidepressants, or hormonal birth control. It can also crop up after pregnancy or shortly before menopause. When this happens, make sure you’re communicating with your partner so they don’t forge ahead before you’re properly lubricated, which is obviously painful and can cause abrasions. 6. Say No To Douching. Think you need some assistance keeping things all clear down there? You don’t. Studies have shown that using intravaginal hygiene products can put you at increased risk of infections, pelvic inflammatory disease, and STDs. Just don’t do it. 7. Handling With Care While Cycling. An unexpected place you might be putting your vaginal health at risk is the cycling studio. If you’re a frequent rider, you could be at risk for genital numbness, pain, and tingling (not in a good way) while cycling. In fact, a study of female cyclists in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that a majority experienced these symptoms. If you love to hit up cycling studios, try wearing padded shorts and following these form modifications to keep your vagina pain-free during your workout. 8. Approach Antibiotics With Caution. Another threat to your nether region’s good bacteria are antibiotics. Those pills can kill off some of that wonderful lactobacilli that keep your vagina healthy. Obviously, if you have to take an antibiotic to fight infection, you shouldn’t pass up the prescription, just load up on probiotic Greek yogurt to reduce the damage. 9. Be Mindful Of Other Sex Act. Make sure not to go from anal to vaginal sex without changing the condom or properly cleaning off first. Going from backdoor to front exposes your vagina to a host of bacteria and can up your risk of infections. 10. Be Careful With Soap. That scented body wash may be awesome, but it doesn’t belong anywhere near your genitals. Soap can be really drying to the sensitive skin around your vulva, and you really only need to rinse with warm water to keep things clean down there. But if you just don’t feel right about going soap-free, stick with a plain, gentle, unscented soap....

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15 Ways Guys Say 'I LOVE YOU' Without Saying It By Samantha Escobar

From where we stop last week about about how our men communicate love to us without saying it. Let hear what Samantha got to say....

9. He Sticks Around

Does he like to do activities together for no reason? For example, rather than just wanting to meet up at a dinner party, he'd rather go grocery shopping with you beforehand so the two of you can make a dish to bring together. Simply doing household things shows an interest in being closer than just casual daters or sex partners.

10. Eye Contact Often
When you're at a bar with friends, does he glance across the room just to make eye contact briefly and smile at one another? This indicates how, even when you two are doing different things, he still wants you to be aware of how much he cares.

11. Hair Ruffling
When people are nervous, they tend to run their fingers through their hair more often than normal. Does he do this when the pair of you are in close proximity to one another and it’s a romantic moment? If so, it could show that he wants to say something intimate but can't find the words.

12. Mirrored Behavior
Does he tend to take bites of his food at the same time as you or do other things similarly? He could be displaying isopraxism, the matching or behaviors that couples tend to do when becoming closer together.

13. Meaningful Gifts
When I say 'meaningful,' I don't mean 'expensive'; I mean that he spends effort and puts serious thought into finding you something that truly fits your personality to a T. I had one guy give me three pairs of socks: one with a crazy cute pattern, one specifically for boots and one for high heels. The week prior, I had gotten a blister on my foot due to not having thick enough socks for a pair of boots I had just purchased, so it was super sweet and a clear indication of his listening skills that he remembered.

14. Frequent Laughing
Does he find you funny and can't help but giggle when you do something silly? As odd as it sounds, the more often he laughs and finds you hilarious, the more serious the level of interest and excitement surrounding your relationship is.

15. Spontaneous Touching                                         
When you're in a public place, does he put his fingers on your back to keep you closeby? Does he hold your hand atop yours while you two are in a restaurant? Random closeness via touching shows that he wants to maintain physical contact, even when it's not sexual.

TIME TO SAY OUR LORD’S PRAYER by DELE MOMODU,

This is why I’m flabbergasted that President Jonathan is allowing some rascals to mislead and drive him down that same evil alley. A man who was rescued and raised up by God should never play God. 

Fellow Nigerians, please I have no intention of scaring anyone today but to paint a realistic scenario of what may likely happen soon. Experience has taught me not to dismiss anything as mere rumour these days. I vividly recollect the damage even unfounded rumour can cause in a country so prone to malicious gossips as Nigeria.
Permit me to take you down memory lane especially those who were yet to be born, or old enough to experience first-hand certain events, in1989 that culminated in what was dubbed the SAP Riots. It so happened that an evil genius somewhere had released a bazooka of a rumour about General Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida and his family. The tale-bearer had mentioned that there was a story in Ebony, an American magazine, which purportedly listed the stupendous wealth of the Babangidas, including coded accounts in Switzerland, a sprawling boutique in Paris, choice properties in a few world capitals and so on.
The rumour ignited like bush-fire in harmattan just as some livid and obviously rabid Nigerians went wild and took to the streets. I don’t remember the exact date of this conflagration but it was on a particular Wednesday in May 1989. I was a reporter working for the Weekend Concord at the time and was out of Lagos when the demonstrators unleashed mayhem in different parts of Nigeria, most especially in Lagos and Benin City. I had returned on a Friday to my desk while the first edition of our wave-making and audacious newspaper had already gone out. And the cover read: Black Wednesday in Lagos.
I immediately approached my Editor, Mr Mike Awoyinfa, a man with an uncanny nose for news and scoops, and challenged him about the lack of adequate bite in the reportage of that important story. My Editor threw the challenge back at me and instructed me to write another version for the second edition. The story I was about to pen was so dangerously precarious under a military regime but I challenged fate and broke down the eventful riots into pieces and took the readers back into its original source. Every newspaper had celebrated the story but they were just too timid to situate the reasons for the total breakdown of law and order apparently for fear of a backlash from the petulant military rulers.

What I found preposterous was the fact that no one had made sufficient effort to look for the original publication that supposedly printed the satanic story. Even the famous social crusader, Dr Tai Solarin, who led a chunky part of the rebellion, said he had not seen an original copy of the magazine. Everything was thus based on rumours upon rumours and hearsay upon hearsay. Fortunately for me, as I sat down to write one of my most difficult stories ever, our Managing Director, Dr Doyinsola Hamidat Abiola, received some current editions of Ebony magazine from our Chairman, Chief Moshood Kashimawo Olawale Abiola, who had just flown in from one of his marathon trips abroad. Dr Abiola, as if in spirit, had urgently dispatched the copies of Ebony to my Editor who in turn sent them to me, and that confirmed our worst fears that there was no such story and it was all a mere fabrication to smear the government.
I must have written one of my best stories ever that night. I traced the origin of the rumours and painted a vivid picture of the allegations. I mentioned authoritatively that we had combed several issues of Ebony and there was no such story ever published. For extra effect, we made a bromide of the latest Ebony cover and plastered it on the cover of Weekend Concord. As I sweated over the story, I uncharacteristically sent for a bottle of beer to calm down my nerves. The Publisher of Classique magazine, May Ellen Ezekiel, had walked in to submit her MEE column which I had the privilege of editing, and asked why I was looking so tense. I told her about my delicate story and she was wowed by my bravery. That very night, she started working on how to poach me to her magazine. What was more, our Lagos edition of Weekend Concord sold 80,000 copies that Saturday.
My mind raced back to this experience about four weeks ago as I ran into a Nigerian lady in Madrid who told me she had left Nigeria in order to escape election violence but was returning because it was postponed. As I write this, I know of many families running away from Nigeria between now and next week. If you doubt the veracity of my gist, please call or try to book flights on any of the major airlines and tell me your experience later. Election has become a war and a matter of life and death in our country. I was hoping things would be different after watching the peace accord document that was voluntarily signed by our political gladiators in Abuja, before man and God.  I was particularly encouraged by the loud banter exchanged between President Jonathan and Major General Muhammadu Buhari. It is tragic that the accord broke down almost as soon as it was signed.
I won’t make you more miserable by regurgitating some of the nonsense campaigning we’ve been subjected to by adults and supposed nationalists who should know much better and act decorously. But the situation has so degenerated that no one can predict what would happen next. Now the scaremongering has reached a crescendo. The biggest rumour in town is that the ruling party has decided that it will never hand over power to the opposition no matter the outcome of the election. And these rumours are emanating from some of those very close to the corridors of power. The First Lady, in particular, has not hidden her disdain for her husband’s main challenger. I’ve taken time to watch most of her campaigns after my well-circulated open letter to her hoping to see a mellowing down in tone and tempo but she seems to have charged back with a vengeance thus spiralling out of control. The hate speeches have shone clearly that our nation is on tenterhooks and we need loads of prayers to have this cup pass over us.
The doomsday predilection should therefore be taken seriously since nothing can be ruled out in our dear beloved country. The power-mongers are never tired of trying new stunts. Who would have believed in 1993 that Chief Abiola would win the election and a few people would sit in a room and cancel what had the potential of unifying Nigerians forever! But it happened before our very eyes. Unfortunately, Nigeria has known no peace since then. We have become more divided and stupidly disunited since then.
The actors and characters currently in power seem to want to try their own June 12 fiasco. They have been going round taking lessons and tutorials in how to hold a whole country to ransom and by the jugular just because they must hang on to power. They do not mind wielding guns and cudgels in broad daylight on the streets of a megacity, with security agents in tow. They have reduced the issues of performance and under-performance to ethnicity and religion. I thought it should be obvious that elections are not won by force but through deliverables and persuasion. Rather than encourage Professor Attahiru Jega to do a better job this time, I’ve watched all manner of hirelings on television cooking some hocus-pocus in order to discredit the man and hopefully boot him out. Someone high up even assured me Jega will be removed by today because he would never be permitted to conduct the forthcoming election and it just didn’t make sense to me.

If I was going to dismiss the Interim Government rumour out of hand I was immediately jolted back to reality after the latest warning by no less personages than Professor Wole Soyinka and Lt. General Alani Ipoola Akinrinade both of whom have access to very solid and credible intelligence. General Olusegun Obasanjo had also spoken copiously against it and must have had good cause for doing so. In case some of the present warriors have lost their memory of the June 12 crisis, let me remind them about what happened to each of the dramatis personae one by one.
General Babangida was the President who supervised that election which Professor Humphrey Nwosu conducted efficiently.  After the annulment, Babangida, who went by the moniker Maradona, was forced to step aside and he never succeeded in coming back as he seemed to have planned and designed. He lost to boot what would have being his most glorious moment. Chief Ernest Degunle Shonekan was forced on the nation as Head of Interim Government but he hardly settled in before some soldiers put guns to his head and forced him to relinquish power in a jiffy. Chief Moshood Abiola was deceived into believing that General Sani Abacha would hand over to him after a coup that would flush out the Babangida renegades but it turned out to be a grand scam. Abacha took power and decided to sit pretty and the owner of the mandate was left out in the chilly cold.
Abacha wasted no time in arresting Chief Abiola and kept him for most part incommunicado and in solitary confinement. Abacha must also researched those likely to have voluble ambition to checkmate him and he discovered two influential Generals, Olusegun Obasanjo and Shehu Musa Yar’Adua and promptly hurled both into detention after arranging some felonious charges against them. The latter died in prison. Both Abacha and Abiola would later die in mysterious circumstances, just one month apart in 1998. Nigeria itself went into a coma. Over two decades after, we are still grappling with lack of basic necessities of life and we’ve never had things so bad minus the civil war era which some of our brethren in the East also appear to have forgotten by playing race card above potentials.

The danger of plotting against your people is you never know the punishment that awaits you and yours. I’m sure many of those who brought crisis upon us these past decades must be gnashing their teeth by now. Had they concocted a better Nigeria, things would probably have turned out differently today even for them. Our country would have been rescued from the vermin now plaguing our land. Only God gives power and HE is the one who can take it back.
I will give my last example. In 2010, everything was done by the so-called cabal to stop the then Vice President, Dr Goodluck Jonathan, from assuming power. The custodian of the power himself was too sick and totally oblivious to the power-game around him. Yet a few people commandeered Nigeria in his name. At the height of the higgledy-piggledy it was even suggested that power was going to be transferred to his wife. We were all afraid that Nigeria may collapse in the process but nothing of the sort happened because God the ALMIGHTY, as always, sorted Nigeria out. Without anyone firing a bullet those playing God ate the humble pie and left power without as much as a whimper.

This is why I’m flabbergasted that President Jonathan is allowing some rascals to mislead and drive him down that same evil alley. A man who was rescued and raised up by God should never play God. There is nothing more to gain by our President. He is the luckiest man I know, dead or alive. What more can he ever ask for? My advice as usual is simple and straight-forward.
Mr President has one week to make history and the only way to achieve that is not to end his career in unproductive acrimony. All those prodding him on, including his wife, have nothing to lose but he has everything to forfeit. I’m sure most of those who worked for the world’s most notorious dictators are still around to enjoy their loot while the despots have all been consigned to the dustbin of history. That is the tragedy that befalls those who listen to similarly wrong people that litter our political landscape and I see so many more of them along the corridors of Abuja.
There is a thin line between success and failure. What Nigeria needs is a visibly free and credible election. We need it now more than ever. If the President wins, so be it. And if the opposition candidate creates an upset, I expect the President to ring him up and concede defeat like other digital leaders such as him. The world shall rise up and give him a standing ovation. But if he plays for broke by deciding to fight dirty as pre-ordained by the hawks that appear to have enchanted and engulfed him, the rest of us shall take solace in the Lord’s Prayer:
“Our Father, who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy Name
Thy will be done on earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
The power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.
Amen.”

PENDULUM BY DELE MOMODU, Email: dele.momodu@thisdaylive.com

Cheaters zone! 10 Super Bizarre Facts You Ought to Know About Adultery

 

Hair color? Deep Voices? Facebook? See what else is leading to adultery, according to science.

Size does matter … just not the size of what you think.

A study claims that women are more likely to cheat on their man if he has big balls. (Yep, you read that right.) Researchers from the University of Oslo studied primates—bonobos, specifically—and they found that a female is more likely to have other sexual relationships if their mate has large testicles.

And it doesn't stop with monkeys. "In one type of grasshopper, the testicles occupy half their body mass. The testicles are even larger in sea urchins. They spawn directly into the ocean. To increase the chance of fertilizing an egg, the sea urchin is a huge testicle with a little shell around it."

The testicles of humans are one and a half times larger than those of gorillas, the team said. They claim this shows that we are an unfaithful race by nature.

Personally, I'd like to know why they decided to study monkeys, bugs and sea urchins to determine human behavior, but I digress. The point is that you'd probably have to have big balls to interject yourself into someone else's relationship. (Bro code, guys?)

Still curious about other bizarre facts found from cheating studies? Here are 10 research-proven factoids that had us do a double-take:

1. Facebook Is An Affair Waiting To Happen
They say that Facebook can figure out how long your relationship will last … but maybe, the reason is because they are the culprit? This study published in the journal of Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking suggests that the social networking site leads users to re-connect with old flings, which in turn is leading to more affairs, breakups or divorces.

2. The French Are Big-Time Cheaters
They say that the French make the best lovers in the world, but that doesn't make it true love. If you believe the findings from this study, probably not. A poll found that a majority of men and a third of women admitted to cheat on their partners, indicating that infidelity is on the rise in France among both sexes. Infidelity has been on the rise in that country since the 1970s, when only around 19 percent admitted to cheating (everything from kissing to swapping naughty texts).

3. Some Say Slapping The Unfaithful Is OK (Yikes!)
An eye for an eye … or rather, a slap for an affair. As part of the Crime Survey For England and Wales, ten percent of the total 38,500 people surveyed agreed that "hitting or slapping" your unfaithful partner is appropriate for a betrayal of the heart.

4. Cheaters Love Chain Restaurants
Suspect that your partner is cheating? The first place you might want to scope out is a chain like Taco Bell. (You quiero ... an affair?) The infamous extra-marital affair dating website Ashley Madison asked over 40,000 cheaters where they loved to wine and dine in secret, and thus, revealed the top 10 dining destinations to have an affair. Among them? Red Lobster, Outback Steakhouse, Chili's and P.F. Chang's.

5. Cheaters LOVE Shopping (Especially At Banana Republic)
This isn't exactly great PR for Banana Republic. After delving into the wine-and-dine habits of the unfaithful, AshleyMadison.com also scoped out the most popular shopping outlets. After polling 50,000+ women, more than a third admitted spending double on keeping up their looks for their secret lover. In addition, 27 percent said they even have a secret credit card to keep their financial infidelity under wraps. So what are some of the other popular stores for cheaters? J. Crew, Macy's, Ann Taylor and H&M all ranked high on the list. (And here you thought she was just getting a new suit jacket for work.) 

6. Faking the Big O Is A Big Red Flag
If your partner is faking it in bed ... watch out. It could be a bad sign that he or she is getting action in a bedroom somewhere else. One study claims that both men and women who faked orgasms were far more likely to be unfaithful.

7. Kamikaze Sperm (Yes, Really) Have Your Back
Another bedroom-based sign of possible infidelity? Clinical sexologist Dr. Lindsey Doe told The Daily Mail that a man's sperm reveals whether he thinks his partner is cheating or not. According to her, 40 percent of ejaculate is made up of what she calls "kamikaze" or "fighter sperm" designed to block another man's sperm from inseminating the egg. When a man suspects his partner of being unfaithful, he produces more of his fighter sperm to ward off other suitors. Granted, you need a microscope to see the differences for yourself, but just in case you have a lab handy ...

8. Jews Are More Faithful Than Christians
If your mom is nagging you to find a nice guy on JDate ... you might want to listen to her. In an annual survey released by JDate.com and Christian Mingle.com that surveys the two online dating communities on their dating etiquette, social influences, and attitudes towards infidelity, an interesting result revealed itself: 84 percent of Jewish singles reported that they've never cheated in a relationship, as opposed to only 66 percent of Christian singles. (So it looks like the Christians over at ChristianMingle might be mingling a little too much, am I right?)

9. Men With Deep Voices Are Perceived As Cheaters
Barry White might have had one of the sexiest voices of all time, but if this study is any indication, a deep voice is a perceived clue to infidelity. According to research published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology, women fear that men with deeper voices are more likely to cheat on them whereas men think women with higher-pitched voices will cheat on them. That's because the more testosterone a man has, the lower his voice, and the more estrogen a woman has, the higher her voice.

10. Blonde Women Cheat The Most
Blondes have more fun (like, a lot more fun). CheaterVille.com conducted a survey to find out whether hair color could be an identifying factor in someone's likelihood to cheat and blondes were caught red-handed. They found that 42 percent of cheating women have blonde hair. After blondes, redheads were second-most likely to cheat at 23 percent, followed by brown-haired women (20 percent) and black-haired women (11 percent). But we have to wonder if that's au naturel or not.

Are these things actually real? let talk.

Mercy Johnson still Rocking Her Figure 8

Mercy Johnson is still rocking her Figure Eight even after giving birth to her first Son, Henry of recent. The actress rocked a very beautiful grey gown and of course her wedding ring.

So mum out there always remember to still look sexy for your hobby OK.

The Beard Woman who Finds Inner Confidence Of Her Look After Almost Attempting Suicide.

Harnaam Kaur, a 24yr old woman who resides in Berkshire UK has come out to say that she loves her look (beards) after doctors said she is suffering from Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (Facial hair growth in the feminine gender). Harnaam also said she would never try to get rid of it again.

She reveals that she has been growing the beard since she was 11 years of age and she had to endure the hardship of Bullying and people making fun of her. She even said she once tried to commit suicide. She tried to wax, bleach and shave the hair which also grows on her chest and arms but decided to stop the removal after she was baptized as a Sikh (a religion that forbids removal of body hair)

She has now spoken on her inner-discovered confidence.

At an appearance on This Morning, Harnaam said:

“At the end of the day, I love myself and the way that I’m formed. Going through primary and secondary school with the facial hair, kids can be nasty. It led me to self harm and wanting to take my own life. It takes a lot of strength to say, ‘I want to kill myself. A split second is all it took. That thought process really empowered me to just carry on with life.

“I’m more spiritual now than I am religious, I live my life the way I see fit. I stand for what I am. To be labelled as a woman you can look however you want.”

Harnaam is reportedly now working on a campaign to prove that name-calling has a big impact with anti-bullying charity Fixers.

Now tell me isn't  she lovely even with her beards. Let hear from you.

Micheal Oyejide: The man who raped his girlfriend to death

One Michael Oyejide, who resides at Ijeja, in Abeokuta has been arrested and locked up in jail for allegedly raping to death his 18-year-old girlfriend.

The 24 year old was found guilty after facing three counts of conspiracy, rape and murder, today in an Abeokuta Magistrates’ Court.

The Magistrate, Mr Martins Akinyemi, ordered that the accused be remanded in prison pending legal advice from the state Director of Public Prosecution.

The Prosecutor, Cpl. Moshood Hammed, told the court that the accused and one other at large, committed the offence on January 8 at about 11:41p.m. at Ijeja in Abeokuta.Hammed said the accused and his accomplice had raped the girl after a party to celebrate his birthday.

Hammed said, “At about 8.00p.m., Oyejide, aka MI, celebrated his birthday at Adigbe and some ladies were invited.

“Later in the night, the accused and one other got the victim, who is also a friend drunk. The accused and his friend took the victim to his house at Ijeja and they raped her to death.”

The prosecutor said the accused thereafter pretended to be sympathisers and rushed their victim to the hospital where she was confirmed dead.

“The management of the hospital reported the case to the police, which led to Oyejide’s arrest,” Hammed said.

The prosecutor said the offence contravened Sections 516, 357 and 358 of the Criminal Law of Ogun State, 2006.

What your take about the issues of rape? Let have your say.

Four promises Buhari made to Nigerian women yesterday..

Muhammadu Buhari, the All Progressives Congress (APC) presidential candidate, among other things promised to end discrimination against women in all sectors in the county, if he is elected in the March 28 election.

According to Buhari, Nigeria women would enjoy equality and equity, especially in employment, education, housing and entrepreneurship.

Buhari made the promises on Thursday, March 19, at a Town Hall meeting with Nigerian women in Lagos.

Below are 4 key pledges the former Head of state made:

1. “My administration will have zero tolerance for violence against women and girls. “We will provide women with greater legal protection from all forms of violence and sexual harassment and there will be commitment to the implementation of all existing legislation on violence against women.”

2. “We will include gender as a component of the federal character and we will make a concerted effort to empower women in rural areas, who constitute the majority of Nigerian women”

3. “Ours, will be an administration that firmly believes that women hold up half the sky, my vision is for my daughters and your daughters to enjoy a world in which discrimination will be a thing of the distant past.”

4. “It might be a long journey, but with your support and votes, we will be on the right path together. “Nigerian women have been promised so much for so long. I stand before you now to make a solemn promise that I will not take your votes for granted." 

So women out here how truth do you take the Generals word? Let hear from you by commenting.

I Love You: 15 Ways Guys Say It Without Saying It By Samantha Escobar

Has your guy been fairly silent in the 4-letter-word department, and you're trying to figure out other ways to tell if he loves you? Sometimes, this can be hard; not everybody is vocal or obvious about their feelings, and many may feel it is difficult to voice those deeper emotions whether it's for fear of rejection, commitment or simply never having said "I Love You" before.

Here are some subtle, silent ways to tell if he's thinking it.

1. Passionate, Long-Lasting Kisses
Who doesn't love an excellent, lengthy kiss? When he's continuously initiating these and you can feel the passion each time he does, it is clear that he's more than just a little excited to be around you.

2. His Friends Love You
If all his buddies are starting to warm up to you and truly seem to enjoy your company, it could be because they know how happy you're making their friend — thus making them start to find you as awesome as he does.

3. Close Personal Distance
You know how it's unnerving when somebody you're not interested in gets close to you? It's the complete opposite when someone you adore tends to be closer in distance than he is to other people.

4. Smiling After Kissing
Sure, you can have a little sweet smile after kissing someone whose company you enjoy, but do you ever just feel like positively beaming when it's someone you love? If you catch him grinning after your kisses all the time, it's a great sign that he truly enjoys your company.

5. He Listens Intently
While he might not be saying much when it comes to your relationship and his feelings about it, the fact that he listens closely when you're talking is incredibly significant. He may lean in closer when you're discussing important topics or nod when you say something poignant, showing how much your words mean to him.

6. Upright Posture
Most of us tend to slouch and have poorer posture than we should. However, if you're trying to impress the person you care about most and want him or her to be most attracted to you, you're going to stand or sit straight up.

7. Hand Squeezing
I once had a relationship with a guy who loved holding my hand and would occasionally squeeze it tightly when we were cuddling or out with friends, but hated any other kind of cutesy couple-like act. I always wondered why he was so opposed, but then I realized that every time he squeezed my hand, he was trying to say, "I love you" in a quiet, simple way.

8. Calling (Or Texting) For No Reason
Not all people do this when in love, so don't take it personally if he doesn't. That said, it's a sign that he feels comfortable with you in non-romantic situations as well as the obvious ones, and that he's thinking of you throughout the day. 


To be continue in the next post.

Accidental death: Divorced people at higher risk

Divorced people are more likely to die from preventable accidents than their married counterparts, according to a new study.

 

Divorced people are more likely to die from preventable accidents than their married counterparts, according to a new study from sociologists at Rice University and the University of Pennsylvania. The study also found that single people and those with low educational attainment are at greater risk for accidental death.

The study, "The Social Side of Accidental Death", examines the links among social relationships, socio-economic status and how long and well people live. The authors found that divorced people are more than twice as likely as married people to die from what the World Health Organisation (WHO) cites as the most-preventable causes of accidental death (fire, poisoning and smoke inhalation) and equally likely to die from the least-preventable causes of accidental death (air and water transportation mishaps).

In addition, compared with married adults, single people are twice as likely to die from the most preventable causes of accidental death and equally likely to die from the least preventable causes of accidental death. People with low educational attainment, compared with more highly educated adults, are more than twice as likely to die from the most-preventable accidents and equally likely to die from the least-preventable accidents.

The researchers compared 1 302 090 adults aged 18 and older who survived or died from accidents between 1986 and 2006. The data was from multiple years of the National Health Interview Survey, which includes demographic information about participants from throughout the 50 states, including age, race and income. Accidental underlying causes of death are defined through the World Health Organisation’s 10th revision of the International Statistical Classification of Diseases, Injuries and Causes of Death.

Socio-economic resources

Justin Denney, assistant professor of sociology at Rice, associate director of the Kinder Institute for Urban Research’s Urban Health Program and the study’s lead author, said it stands to reason that if social relationships and socio-economic resources prolong life, then they should be more important in situations where death can reasonably be avoided and less valuable in situations that closely resemble random events.

“Well-educated individuals, on average, have greater socio-economic resources, which can be used to their advantage to prevent accidental death (i.e., safeguarding a home from fire),” Denney said. “In addition, these individuals tend to be more knowledgeable about practices that may harm their health, such as excessive alcohol and drug use. And marital status is influential in that it can provide positive support, may discourage a partner’s risk and offer immediate support that saves lives in the event of an emergency.”

Denney hopes the research will encourage further research of accidental death and how it may be prevented.

Amy Hodges

Schooling: when one size doesn't fit all

If you feel that your child isn't coping in mainstream schooling, it may be time to start considering alternate options that could provide a better learning environment.

Schooling should be a fairly simple affair: take child to school near home or work.  The reality is so far from this, it can be a nightmare, especially when the consideration comes in on the type of schooling, which is generally broken down into three categories: mainstream, remedial and special needs.

Doing what is best for the child

When those are your options, the decision is as clear as mud (and yes, even children with special needs may be accommodated in a mainstream school). It all boils down to that catchy phrase of whatever is “in the best interest of the child”.

The truth is: doing what is best for the child ultimately would mean finding an environment that suits that specific child, not an environment designed to fit the average child. If your child is one who enjoys their school, this article may provide an interesting read, but is not intended to sway your opinion.

As a parent you are in the best position to know what type of teacher your child needs. You know if it would be better to start schooling your early bird at 5am or your night owl at 2pm; you know if your child would be more organised working in set books or filing work as it is completed; or if youTube could get the information across better simply because it is delivered from an electronic device rather than a person with whom eye contact is made.

Ask any traditional school to allow your child to start at 2pm and scoffs may be heard all round. But this is a possibility if you homeschool. For some reason, however, homeschooling has a bad reputation with the parents viewed as over protective or controlling; or worse yet that there may be something wrong, socially or academically, with the homeschooled child.

Different options when it comes to homeschooling

This form of educating and learning allows flexibility around time, venue, material and pace. Technically speaking, you could buy a multitude of books on different topics and simply read and research with your child to broaden their knowledge on anything. Writing a book review, letter to the author or creative piece on what has been read, develops the art of writing and practices grammar. Math can be taught through real life problem solving such as quartering a recipe or calculating angles to build a tree house. 

If this seems too airy-fairy, there are a number of set curricula available with lesson plans and schedules which guide parents through their teaching; some will include ideas of outings to correspond with a topic, making it more hands-on. Children in mainstream schools cannot wait for their next outing; imagine telling them they could go on one, two or three outings a month!

A discussion on homeschooling wouldn’t be complete without someone asking “what about socialising?” Given that homeschoolers have the option of learning at different times, they have the opportunity to take part in club sports or cultural activities.
With the upswing in homeschooling over the past few years, there are numerous support networks in place who share their outing ideas; even the Northgate ice-rink has accommodated homeschoolers. Furthermore, these children tend to be better socially equipped to deal with peers of various ages as they are not limited to interacting with a single age group. There is a buthere: it can be easy to fall into a trap of staying at home and relying on a child’s innate ability to seek out friends if and when the opportunity presents itself. Planning outings, sports, cultural activities and play dates must be given as much consideration as the academics.

But we work all day.

Not a problem: although, according to Sec 51 of the SA Schools Act, which makes provision for homeschoolers, learning must take place at the child’s own home, there is no stipulation that homeschooling be done by the parent.  Make no mistake, parents remain the drivers of their child’s education and are required to ensure the education provided is in the child’s best interest. This is in fact true for any parent: should anything be taught at a registered school which is not in a child’s best interest, legally the parent must intervene.

Who can afford a personal tutor every day?

Homeschooling turns out cheaper, even with a tutor, than sending a child to an independent school.  Consider alone the money saved by buying less stationery, minimal class supplies, no school uniforms etc.

If the idea of homeschooling is just perfect for your child but is not feasible for whatever reason, there is one last avenue to consider which comes with more controversy than homeschooling (a good time to make of tea perhaps?)

Cottage school, learning centre, small school, homeschool away from home (existing homeschoolers I know this is not a correct term) – these expressions referto small environments that expand on the homeschooling ethos of working with each child’s strengths, but offers some structure in terms of times and venue while maintaining the flexibility needed. The controversy comes in in that most of these centres refrain from registering with the Department of Education.
These centres may be justified in their actions only so long as the type of education they offer cannot be accessed in a school in the area, all the children educated through the centre require the type of instruction offered, and if registering with the Department of Education impedes the offered instruction.
By their nature, registered schools offer a standard and method that is applicable to most children, or the average child.  Parents wishing to follow an alternative means of education are advised to join the Pestalozzi Trust which is a legal defence fund protecting the rights of parents to choose their child’s education. 

The phase of education identified as FET (Further Education and Training) consists of grades 10-12. Unfortunately it is at this point that even the most diverse education system becomes regulated, and homeschoolers or those attending learning centres must register with a service provider that is able to offer a senior certificate of some kind.  Fortunately, there are options here too: one can register with a group offering the national senior certificate, or the American or Cambridge equivalents.

The bottom line is, while anything different is likely to come with a scare factor, pushing through will more often than not yield benefits that far outweigh the scare. And with our great country’s laws providing the opportunities to do what is best for our children’s education, why let a bit of scare stop you?

Delia Tranter, H

Zahra Buhari Deletes Twitter Account After Followers Slammed Her

Zahra Buhari, the daughter of GMB has deleted her account @Zahra3_ from twitter.

After receiving loads of insults from her followers which she obviously didn’t expect, she decided to end her twitter account. She defended her dad on his WASSCE certificate on Monday and instead of receiving supports from her followers, she received the opposite, which is why she took that action.

In some tweets directed to her, Twitter users claimed that her father is an illiterate and told her to tell her dad to go and resit for WAEC. So many discouraging and insulting tweets directed to her which should be why she deleted the account.

I wonder what will happen if probably, her father wins the elections… she may definitely come back to social media to blast those who insulted her.. and her father.

yabaleft

Jude Okoye Shares Lovely Photo Wife & Daughter

Jude  Okoye is the elder brother of popular duo, PSquare.

He is married to Ex-beauty queen, Ify and he is a proud father of a 2 months baby girl which he had in November 2014.

Jude shared the photo above on his Instagram page with the caption: “Happy”… Adorable! 

Is your partner using sex to manipulate you?

Sex can be a dangerous tool of manipulation. 

Do you find yourself in a situation where someone else is making you feel uncomfortable in terms of their sexual ideas or intent?

Are you starting to feel scared or worthless in the company of this person?

If this sounds familiar, you may be falling victim to sexual emotional manipulation.

Sex and emotional manipulation is always an unhealthy and possibly dangerous situation. The fact is that emotional manipulation can hold a person psychologically captive. What makes this kind of manipulation even more dangerous is that the person being manipulated might not even be aware that they’re being manipulated.  

When another person or partner starts playing manipulative sexual games with you, it should be a red flag and a warning sign that the relationship or the sexual intent of the person may be warped and dysfunctional.  

A skilled emotional manipulator will try to gain your trust, and will then slowly make sure they break down your self-worth and self-esteem until you start feeling worthless. You may start doubting yourself and your decisions.

In a sexual relationship, this creates a severe power imbalance. If you’re in a situation like this, you’re most likely slowly entering into an abusive sexual relationship.

Are you being manipulated?

Initially, it might be difficult to determine whether you’re in a relationship where you’re being emotionally manipulated with sex.

Look for the following red flags:

• The person often lies about their sexual expectations or changes their expectations to something that might seem unfair or unrealistic to you.  
• The person often spins the facts regarding your sex life to change your perspective. In this way, he or she can covertly or overtly intimidate you. For example, the person may use the following phrase: “If you don’t have sex with me tonight, I’ll leave you or I’ll have sex with someone sexier.” This kind of person is a master in “guilt tripping”, and will make sure you feel bad about yourself if you don’t meet their sexual needs.  
• The person projects blame and plays the victim. He or she rarely takes responsibility for their inappropriate behaviour and choices.

Beware of the sexual psychopath

Prof Robert Hare, in his book, Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among us (1993), describes an extreme form of sex and emotional manipulation when he refers to the concept of the sexual psychopath.
Hare points out that rape is a good example of the callous, selfish use of violence by psychopaths and proposes that half of serial rapists may be psychopaths.

Their behaviour, he writes, often results from a potent combination of:

• Uninhibited expression of their sexual desires and fantasies
• A desire for power and control
• Perception of the victims as objects of pleasure and satisfaction

This idea of control is very important: when a person is involved in a sexual relationship, you could say they’re revealing themselves; they’re giving the most intimate aspect of themselves. Many psychopaths realise this and make use of it in a manipulative way.

Sexual psychopaths want complete control over another individual and are masters in manipulation. Sexual submission through their manipulation tactics and emotional abuse is often the final step in the objectification of the victim.

These dangerous individuals use the tools and techniques of mind control to influence others. A sexual relationship in this situation means that there’s neither informed consent on the part of the victim, nor a relationship of equals, because the power is with the deceiver. This makes it a situation of sexual abuse.

A psychopath will often create an intimate relationship which, in turn, leads to a sexual relationship. The psychological abuse makes the sexual abuse possible, and the sexual abuse amplifies the effects of the psychological abuse.

Sexual psychopaths who have learned how to use sex to control and manipulate are particularly destructive.

Typically, the psychopath’s victim first doesn't want to talk about it. Without understanding what happened, the victim may blame him or herself; they may think that they deserved the abuse; or be so full of shame at what happened to them in the hands of the sexual psychopath that it seems easier to try and forget the whole thing.

A dangerous game

Sex and emotional manipulation can become a rather destructive and dangerous game.

If, in any relationship, you become aware of these dynamics, it’s important to seek help immediately and to talk to someone who can help you to either get out of the relationship or to assess why this dynamic is taking place. Getting professional assistance and advice is incredibly important.

eniobanke